College Football Title Games

“Class of 1998 HERE I COME!”

Do you remember the Enterprise commercial circa 2006?  With the guy “Moose”  who is told he is “looking good” by a couple of two-bit skanks?  Well that was nothing like my high school reunion.  Yes, I did rent an Enterprise Car at a family discount since I made up that I am someone’s family member, but sadly I didn’t bring the Sentra to pick up ladies.  The Man of Cheese (TMOC) had his mom drop us off and pick us up, well because that’s how we roll.  I can’t find the damn commercial I am referring to, but here is one from a similar time frame.

College Football Week 13

It’s obvious that the world is now obsessed with the sports powerhouse school the University at Buffalo.  They have a bowl eligible football team, a front page article on ESPN.com and they have a hoops team that is undefeated……and only play on the road no less.  Throw in a coach that has more rumors talked about him than celebrities on TMZ, and welcome to the forefront of college athletics UB.

Sadly none of this will matter for me this evening as I will clench my ass cheeks together from 6pm until approximately 10pm.  Each game gets bigger for the Bulls, not big like Oklahoma-Texas Tech, but still big none-the-less.  Just remember the 2008 Bulls, because once again the rumors are swirling like a Lake Erie wind stating that Gill will take any and every job not in Buffalo this offseason.

College Football Week 12

UB Bulls on the precipice of another terrible sports disaster for the city?  I hope not.

Don’t get me wrong, I watched all four quarters and the subsequent four overtimes on Thursday night and I was thrilled with the final outcome.  But this is Buffalo, people……  And that has little to do with the University at Buffalo Bulls being on top of the MAC East in November.  This has everything to do with a city coming so close time and time again, then becoming unraveled like a ball of yarn.

In game 7 of the 2003 ALCS, and the Yankees down to the Red Sox, Derek Jeter famously said to Aaron Boone, “Don’t worry the ghosts will show up eventually.  That pretty much sums up my anxious feeling toward the UB Bulls.  What could possibly go wrong against Bowling Green, here is the short list.

College Football Week 11

“An Ode to Fulmer”

 

The Byrds once sang, “To every season turn, turn, turn.”  Well it seems the puke-clad Volunteer faithful have heeded the advice of and are breaking up with Phil Fulmer.  Usually I would take great pride in mocking such a move but I think that all of these coaching moves are made as snap judgements which are pretty unfair.  At this point who in the world wants to take this job?  I know what the Volunteers base wants, either David Cutcliffe or a young coach who will energize the fan base next season.  But here’s why it is unfair.

Da Bears, Politics, n Penn State

Where to begin, let’s see…  Hello fellow Nagel followers, glad to be back.  I seem to have misplaced my keyboard for quite sometime, but low and behold it was sitting next to the cheap bottle of half empty port (always in front of me), how could I miss it.

These are some crazy times, and we have some important issues to discuss, from the presidential election to the BCS polls to the Chicago Bears defense; they all have serious problems.  I know, I know, lies win elections… certain conferences are “better” then others and Chicago land football is all about bruising defensive toughness.

Bull Honky I say (not actually sure what that means).  But anyway…

Q: Are people really dumb enough to believe these lies?

A: Abso-freakin-lutely

The main reason all these things exist, is because people are not that smart (I include myself in this statement, as I have fallen for it many times, wait no I haven‘t, but at least I considered it a possibility)… refer to exibit A:

(26 August 2006, Leicester, England) Darren’s death was a mystery. The 33-year-old was found slumped in the hallway of his house, bleeding from stab wounds to his chest. Police initially assumed that an assailant had attacked him, but they could find no supporting evidence. A year later, the inquest revealed why Darren can stake his claim to a place among the winners of the Darwin Award.

Darren had called a friend, but minutes after he hung up, rang back to ask for an ambulance. The front door was ajar, and Darren was found lying near a bloodstained lock-knife he had purchased whilst on holiday in Spain. Forensics investigators saw no indication of a struggle, and the coroner reported that the stab wounds seemed to be self-inflicted. However, Darren had shown no suicidal tendencies.

His wife, who was on holiday at the time of the incident, cleared up the mystery, and revealed why our subject will go down in history as a Darwin Award winner. As she was leaving for the holiday, she remembered Darren wondering whether his new jacket was ’stab-proof’.

That’s right. Darren decided to find out if his jacket could withstand a knife attack. Did he choose to test his jacket while it was draped over the back of a chair? No, our man thought that the best approach would be to wear the garment and stab himself. Sadly, his choice of armor proved less resistant to a sharp blade than he had hoped.

The coroner reached a verdict of accidental death by ‘misadventure’.

See, I told you.

I run across people regularly that still think Obama’s Muslim, the Big 10 sucks, and the Bears Defense is why they win games.  Wrong, Wrong, and Wrong.

All political quagmires it seems.  One devised to win an election, one devised to get better rankings and one devised to fit tradition.  So let’s settle this once and for all.  Barrack Obama is a normal American dude, not a terrorist, and he’s a smart guy, and not an anti Semite… The Big 10 is good, even though Michigan stinks and Ohio State loses in big Games, and The Bears have an average defense and a very good offense.  Oh, and Colt Brennen is a stooge, just thought I’d throw that in.

Hmmm, I honestly don’t know what to say to republicans except “really?” and “c’mon”  in the words of Peter Griffin.  I know you’re either poor and religious or rich and greedy, but let’s just put that behind us and make the world better.  To you religious freaks, get over it, we all like to be spiritual but keep it to yourself, maybe you guys can come up with a ban on marriage to God while you’re at it, Jesus.  And to all you evil rich bastards, seriously, have you ever seen Robin Hood?  He’s the good guy, and you’re the bad guys, remember?  Share your shit or we will rob from the rich to give to the poor, cause it’s noble.  You Bastards.  Yet I digress.

Let’s take a look at why people think the Big 12 and the SEC as the holy grail.  I mean how else could you explain Alabama and Texas Tech being ahead of Penn State in the BCS poll, when all teams are undefeated… Texas Tech?  Really?  What a joke.  Oh they must have played harder out of conference teams right?  Let’s see, Eastern Washington, Nevada, Southern Methodist, and Massachusetts.  Ha, did anyone even know these schools had football teams?  These guys had one hard game and they won against Texas at home.  That’s it.  Certainly not reason enough to vault from 7 to 2 in front of Penn State, a team that has also beaten everyone they’ve faced, including Ohio St. on the road.  And let’s not forget that Penn State absolutely destroyed the team that handed USC it’s only loss, Oregon St.  And then when considering the great Alabama, besides Georgia (a team that was obviously very overrated at the beginning of the season) has only played 2 other teams that are over .500 Mississippi and Kentucky, both mediocre teams at best.  So when it really comes down to it, Penn State is just as worthy of the #1 spot as either of these teams, and certainly, you cannot deny Joe Paterno’s undefeated team a shot at the championship.

Moving on.  Moving on.  Wait, I need to write more about the Bears, but first I need to sleep.  Just remember, Kyle Orton is a Stud.

College Football Week 9

Sorry I missed last week, but wedding bells rang for a friend from graduate school, so LWN was off to MAC destination Ypsilanti, Michigan. 

Highlights from the trip-

College Football: Week 7

The road to the BCS Championship goes through the Big 12?

Chiggity Chase Daniel and Sultry Sam Bradford are lighting up scoreboard from Norman to Columbia to Lincoln to Seattle, both teams have led the conference on a roll that is unprecedented in my recent memory.  I have touched on this before briefly but, can any conference boast the talent that the Big XII has in the QB position?  Hands down SEC folks, the power has shifted to the Midwest.

The offensive rankings are simply too powerful to ignore.

College Football: Week 6

Something is fishy.

How does one team (USC) lose to an inferior one, which sets off a madcap weekend.  How about Florida?  How about Georgia?  How about Wisconsin?  The powers that be seem to have a sense of humor.  Is this a commentary on game preparation, or parity, or even that every game ACTUALLY matters.  In any event, the first major weekend of in-conference play was a disaster for the national title contenders.

I can’t explain it but I am pretty sure somehow Pete Carrol called the NCAA and the two of them are behind these shenanigans.

Since upset Saturday seemed to occur last week, one would assume it won’t happen again, yet dear readers anarchy is probably going to take place so that USC will still be in the hunt at season’s end.  My point is that there are still too many teams with unblemished records out there!

College Football Week 5

Big brother is ad savvy

I know what you are thinking.  Idaho University has had two glaring wadrobe malfunctions this season AND are one of the worst teams in all of D1A.  But before we get into that, let’s just get back on this whole bullshit FBS and FBC blasphemy.  FBS or Football Bowl Subdivision is less simple than D1A, and might say less in fact.  In the whole of the NCAA, everything is written as Division I, Division II, or Division III.  Lucky for us, the powers that be (possibly sponsors and higher ups in charge of making money) have decreed that we can no longer refer to football the same way we refer to the rest of college athletics.  I guess it is pointless to discuss the merits and detractions of this argument, but at the same token why confuse the American public that is already engrossed in your product?

College Football Week 3

My picks have been off lately and I am not sure why.  I am pretty sure it has nothing to do with the head trauma that I have gotten over so it must be this new job which forces me to work instead of waste my days writing blog posts and analyzing each individual piece of each individual game.  In any event, I have spent my nights this week on the phone and analyzing statistical data which may, just may lead me to a .500 week in the third one of the young season.  But first some political talk.