College Football Week 11

“An Ode to Fulmer”

 

The Byrds once sang, “To every season turn, turn, turn.”  Well it seems the puke-clad Volunteer faithful have heeded the advice of and are breaking up with Phil Fulmer.  Usually I would take great pride in mocking such a move but I think that all of these coaching moves are made as snap judgements which are pretty unfair.  At this point who in the world wants to take this job?  I know what the Volunteers base wants, either David Cutcliffe or a young coach who will energize the fan base next season.  But here’s why it is unfair.

On March 2, 2007, Fulmer was given the dreaded contract extension, which gave him a job until 2013 and a raise.  Now in November 2008 he’s being forced out at season’s end?  Also, he took the team to the SEC championship game LAST SEASON, and lost his quarterback.  What gives?

Sure the Vols have had a terrible season, but terrible seasons happen.  Just ask Charlie Weis who apparently holds the Matt Millen voodoo curse over the Notre Dame administration the same way Millen hypnotized the Ford family.  I am more than certain that Foghorn Leghorn, I mean Fred Thompson, I mean Phil Fulmer would be able to right the ship next season and at least be competitive next year.

But instead, in the middle of a huge recession Fulmer will be let go, they will pay him for at least another season where he is NOT working, then get some booster money together and probably assemble a huge coaching staff which will cost the university millions of dollars.  It’s just poor financial planning.  I’m sure the University has some financial concerns like most in the nation, and they are going to throw away money on football alone, which provides minimal exposure and revenue for the university at best.  I don’t personally like Fulmer or Tennessee, but his record is 150-51, with a national championship.  There’s not too many dudes out there who have those kind of credentials out there.  Shame on you Tennessee and your puke-colored fan base.

LWN’s Short List of Coaches:

Let’s see, Tennessee would pay millions for David Cutcliffe, the mastermind behind UT’s successful offenses, but he says he is not interested…..We will see about that at the conclusion of the season.

How about Chris Peterson at Boise State?  He’s 31-3 in his career, including a win against Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl.

Todd Graham from Tulsa?  He’s 25-11.

How about Butch Davis?  Maybe he wants to jump back into the spotlight?  We know he can recruit in the south and rebuilt Miami when they once needed rebuilding.

Lane Kiffin?  He’s got the pedigree and if you recall he did coach in the NFL and at USC. 

My best guess right now: 

How about the 300 pound gorilla in the room, Mike Leach.  He’s 74-37 in his head coaching tenure and has spent time at SEC school Kentucky.  Additionally, we have all seen his offense.  While teams continue to implement the spread offense with mixed results, they are all trying to catch Leach because of his creativity.

He has turned Texas Tech into a perennial power and kids, especially in the SEC favor his spread to a more conventional I-form offense.  The only question is will he leave Texas Tech after shifting the power balance in Texas?

Review:

Florida-Georgia: So long pre-season favorite.  The Bulldogs have probably been vanquished to the Capital One Bowl after their second loss of the season.  Florida certainly got some retribution from last year’s team party in the end zone.  And we all know Urban Meyer keeps his foot on his opponent’s throat better than any other coach in the biz.  While there is always some outcry for running up the score, let’s face it folks style points matter.

Oregon-Cal:  I just couldn’t stay away from the PAC 10 could I?  Cal is the quietest 6-2 I can remember in a long time.  What a drop off from USC to the rest of the field. 

Temple-Navy:  I guess I reached here but the statistics should not have lied right?  Well that was not the case and Navy couldn’t run their way to victory, pun intended.

Kansas-Kansas St:  Ah taking the over is my favorite fake bet of all time.  That way you aren’t rooting for a team, just an exciting outcome.  Well this one looked grim, but in the end, the only loser here is Ron Prince who will go the way of Phil Fulmer leaving only four black head coaches in D-I.

Teaser:  It’s really fucking annoying when you research as much college football as I do then lose a 6-team teaser by one fucking point.  Damn you Pat Hill and Fresno State who usually comes through for me every time.  So long 60 fake dollars.  Damn you Fresno State.  If you can’t beat Louisiana Tech then you must be Mississippi State, Southeastern Louisiana, or Idaho.

News:

1.  Mike Leach Quotes:  This isn’t real news but if you don’t realize how funny this dude is, have a looksie:

“How come they get to pretend they are soldiers? The thing is, they aren’t actually in the military. I ought to have Mike’s Pirate School. The freshmen, all they get is the bandanna. When you’re a senior, you get the sword and skull and crossbones. For homework, we’ll work pirate maneuvers and stuff like that.”  -On the Texas A&M Corps of Cadets.

“Cody Hodges graduates next year, so I would like Mike Shula to come out and be our quarterback for the next year. And we can get started practicing here today if he doesn’t have anything going on.”

After the win against Texas, from the New York TImes: 

Instead of talking about Michael Crabtree’s last-second touchdown in the Red Raiders’ 39-33 victory or their place in the Bowl Championship Series standings, Leach, who was reading “The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill,” began quoting Churchill.

Asked about the book, Leach enthusiastically recited an exchange between Churchill and Nancy Astor, the first woman to sit in the English House of Commons. “She says, ‘If you were my husband, I’d poison your tea,’ ” Leach said. “He says, ‘And if you were my wife, I would drink it.’ ”

Here’s some video:

He’s an insane genius who went to BYU then got a Law Degree at Pepperdine.

2.  Ryan Leaf likes pills

For a guy who I rooted for since I saw an ESPN story on him, Leaf decided to bring a promising coaching career to a screeching halt by asking a player at West Texas A&M for a pain pill.  There has to be more to the story than this……has to be.

3.  Obama ruining one person’s personal economy

The “Obama effect” has been felt already in Austin, TX by back up center Buck Burnette who is out a scholarship after posting a racial slur on his facebook page after the election had been decided.

He wrote as his status, “all the hunters gather up, we have a #$%&er in the whitehouse.”  He then issued an apology….sort of.

“Clearly I have made a mistake and apologized for it and will pay for it. I received it as a text message from an acquaintance and immaturely put it up on facebook in the light of the election. Im not racist and apologize for offending you. I grew up on a ranch in a small town where that was a real thing and I need to grow up. I sincerely am sorry for being ignorant in thinking that it would be ok to write that publicly and apologize to you in particular. I have to be more mature than to put the reputation of my team at stake and to spread that kind of hate which I dont even believe in. Once again, I sincerely apologize.”

Let’s break it down:

He apologized, then said he received it as a text message, then thought it was funny enough to post on his FACEBOOK PAGE WHICH 20 MILLION PEOPLE COULD SEE.  But take heed, he’s NOT a racist he goes on to say, then defends himself by saying he grew up in a small town where “that was a real thing.”  What was a real thing?  Hunting black people? 

Well guess what, LWN is pretty infuriated by this, praise Allah that Mack Brown did the right thing and tossed his ass off the team.  Does Buck know that about 50% of his team is black?  Does this bring to light a bigger problem in America?  A black man was elected president, some people are upset but why?  Because a democrat will be in office or because the democrat doesn’t look like you?

Do you really believe that Barack Obama is a Muslim who has infiltrated America with a goal of destroying the country from the inside and plans to re-distribute the wealth, a la communism?  If so, then you are a stupid human being.  And if you want to quote fake scripture to solidify your uninformed point, then let me tell you this “fact” as well.  In my opinion, the invisible man I pray to is more powerful than the invisible man you pray to.  Prove me wrong.

Look, here is my view on politics and the tenure of Barack Obama’s four years.  In a nutshell, your typical American won’t experience many highs or many lows because of it.  But, if you are a part of the Evangelical right, you might see a few changes.  But take heart super crazy religious zealots, you can rest at night knowing that this was “God’s plan.” 

Sorry, I swear I’m done and I promise I will never tell you what has been told to me in the past 8 years, I will never utter the phrase “why can’t you just support the President?”  I’ll tell you why, bitch its America and if I want to speak out, I will and you can too as long as you have something more than ignorance backing up your point.

My soapbox has now been put away for safe keeping. 

4.  There are now four black head coaches in Division IA.

And this surprises us why?  Look at the Senate and House of Reps.

Picks:

1.  Bowling Green -3 @ Ohio:

Ohio is better than their record indicates, but Bowling Green beat Pitt at Pitt.  I have to side with the Falcons here because I have seen Ohio play a couple of times and they almost refuse to take care of the ball.  Ohio is -7 this year in turnover ratio.  And they have created 17 turnovers!

Bowling Green 30- Ohio 24

2.  Kansas St  @ Missouri Over 68

Sure K-State is letting their coach go, but sometimes this helps the team rally.  While the Wildcats refuse to play defense, they certainly tend to score.  I assume Mizzou will put them away to the tune of 48-7 in the second quarter, then rest the starters and K-State will pick away at the lead.

Mizzou 55- K-State 30

3.  AND NOW FOR MY

Cincinnati @ WVU over 44.5

Once again, the end zone will be found in this game, at least enough to make the score 23-22.  Can you really argue with that logic?  Both teams need this game so to speak, look for Noel Devine of West Virginia to have a game as well as Marshawn Gilyard to be his foil on the Cincy side of the ball.

Cincy 32- WVU 35

4.  Alabama -3.5 @ LSU

I’m not getting off Alabama until next week, when they will suffer the let down game after playing a big game against LSU.  Simply put, LSU’s defense is not the same it once was.  They are rebuilding and Alabama is there.  Also, I don’t like the QB situation for LSU one bit.

Bama 31- LSU 20

Upset alert:

Penn State @ Iowa +8:

I guess I’ll take Iowa here.  Shonn Greene has 1257 yards rushing so far this season.  While Iowa is not great, they may be poised to play spoiler here. 

Penn State eeks it out 24-20, maybe.

Also,

Southern Mississippi -3 @ Central Florida

Take the Eagles, because I said so.

Southern MIss 38- UCF 21

Hold me, Thrill me, Tease me:

Tease this 7 points for maximum ROI, and to flush out some pushes:  It pays 15 fake dollars per fake dollar invested.

Fresno +9

Ohio State -4

Colorado -2.5

Bowling Green +4

Kansas +7

Iowa +15

Alabama +3.5

WVU pick em

Texas Tech +3

Notre Dame +10.5

Wagers:  50 on BGSU, 20 on K State Mizzou, 60 on cincy, WVU over, 50 on Bama, 20 on Iowa, 40 on Southern Miss, 5 on the teaser

Results:

Last Week 1-3

Overall  14-21-2

W/L imaginary $ -50

Overall imaginary $ 615