It’s obvious that the world is now obsessed with the sports powerhouse school the University at Buffalo. They have a bowl eligible football team, a front page article on ESPN.com and they have a hoops team that is undefeated……and only play on the road no less. Throw in a coach that has more rumors talked about him than celebrities on TMZ, and welcome to the forefront of college athletics UB.
Sadly none of this will matter for me this evening as I will clench my ass cheeks together from 6pm until approximately 10pm. Each game gets bigger for the Bulls, not big like Oklahoma-Texas Tech, but still big none-the-less. Just remember the 2008 Bulls, because once again the rumors are swirling like a Lake Erie wind stating that Gill will take any and every job not in Buffalo this offseason.
Jim Haslett and the “St Louis Rams,” it that is actually them this year ruined parlays, teasers, if bets, and pretty much destroyed my weekend. If these guys are football players, then I am a doctor.
Who are these scoundrels acting like a group of men who play football? I’m not sure but you should be able to cover 9 against Favre and his idiotic throws.
Last week we went 3-1 losing only the “Rams” game. Let’s just get into this.
UB Bulls on the precipice of another terrible sports disaster for the city? I hope not.
Don’t get me wrong, I watched all four quarters and the subsequent four overtimes on Thursday night and I was thrilled with the final outcome. But this is Buffalo, people…… And that has little to do with the University at Buffalo Bulls being on top of the MAC East in November. This has everything to do with a city coming so close time and time again, then becoming unraveled like a ball of yarn.
In game 7 of the 2003 ALCS, and the Yankees down to the Red Sox, Derek Jeter famously said to Aaron Boone, “Don’t worry the ghosts will show up eventually. That pretty much sums up my anxious feeling toward the UB Bulls. What could possibly go wrong against Bowling Green, here is the short list.
The last few weeks have made it a bit too difficult to write both fucking columns people so get off my damn back. But I guess Tom Arnold reads my blog, so I am better than everyone else.
Since I have that out of my system, we can begin now. So I went to a Miami Dolphins game against the Bills. I found out a couple of things:
1. In Miami Crackwhores act like the work for the United Way begging for tickets “for the kids,” or in actuality they mean “to scalp.”
2. In Miami, the fans coordially boo you and your friends in the parking lot for wearing the visitor’s jersey but you are never in any actual harm.
3. It’s in the 80s in Miami in late October, which is different.
4. In Miami the fans all gather around and dance to cheesy wedding favorites in the parking lot. When I tailgate, the only thing that goes through my mind is finding the next spot for me to piss on.
5. Girls in Miami garb are pretty hot in general.
6. No one will pay even $70 for two lower bowl tickets in Miami, not even crackwhores.
News:
1. The quarterback needs to wear a skirt.
Sorry ladies, but this is getting fucking out of hand. The latest and most irresponsible transgression took place against the Giants this past weekend and its had me hot all week. Tell me how this is a fucking penalty and listen to the reasoning. That’s right, “tackling the quarterback with full body weight.” Jesus, someone tell the officiating crew that it’s Brooks Bollinger out there, not Tony Romo. Bollinger is disposable and stinks like a diaper. Romo of course is the over rated budding star who can’t win a playoff game.
Was this a penalty too?
This week the NFL overturned the fine after the Giants and the liberal media went ape shit over the $7,500 fine levied against Tuck. While that’s fine and well, the Cowboys scored a touchdown on that drive, and that play was a reason for that. You see Tuck hit Bollinger too hard on a third down play where the pass was incomplete. Luckily it didn’t affect the outcome of the game, but it has and will again, hopefully not when it matters. THIS IS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL. Even TROY FUCKING AIKMAN didn’t like the call……Even Boomer know’s Troy is a homer.
2. Happy Trails DeAngelo Hall
Hall, cut this week by Al “Slipping Into Senility” Davis, probably deserves this outcome, but how do you cut the dude after 9 games after you offered him a 7 year $70 million dollar deal knowing full well your scheme was not something he has played in his past.
On the flip side, to defend the Raiders is difficult, but I think Hall must have hired the Sterling Cooper Advertising Agency. What do I mean by this, Hall has been amazing at pumping himself up to the media, fans, and coaches, yet no one has taken the time to notice that he is not Champ Bailey, he commits too many coverage and personal fouls, and is not a team player. Too bad I am the only one who saw this ahead of time.
*Watch MadMen by the way, it’s on AMC, and yes you have AMC.
3. Culpepper to Start, Lions to Win, Media to Talk About It For a Week.
I bet Lion nation is up in arms, still thinking Drew Stanton is the answer.
4. ARREST OF THE WEEK
Larry Johnson, member of my fantasy football team, the Kansas City Chiefs, and habitual woman abuser found himself in hot water recently after he decided to spit his drink in a woman’s face for some reason. This is the fourth time in the last 5 years Johnson has been in trouble for “chick issues.” Maybe he should chill the fuck out, no means no after all……usually.
Let’s Review:
In the week my dog picked games against me, I beat him by one game but he beat Bill Simmons by three games. Maybe it was four games?
Picks:
1. Buffalo @ New England -4
I’ll take New England because I think they will bounce back from from the loss against the Colts, and the Bills will be without Schobel again. Matt Cassel is a serviceable QB and the New England game plan should be too good.
New England 23- Buffalo 17
2. St. Louis +9 @ NYJ
It’s the NFL and the Jets aren’t that good.
St. Louis 30-NYJ 24
3. AND NOW FOR MY
New Orleans @ Atlanta-1
No Reggie Bush, played in Europe recently, problems with players using diuretics. The Falcons are hot right now, Lil Wayne hot.
Atlanta 24- NO 20
4. Kansas City +15 @ San Diego
A terrible team gets 15 on the road, I can’t turn this down.
The Byrds once sang, “To every season turn, turn, turn.” Well it seems the puke-clad Volunteer faithful have heeded the advice of and are breaking up with Phil Fulmer. Usually I would take great pride in mocking such a move but I think that all of these coaching moves are made as snap judgements which are pretty unfair. At this point who in the world wants to take this job? I know what the Volunteers base wants, either David Cutcliffe or a young coach who will energize the fan base next season. But here’s why it is unfair.
Where to begin, let’s see… Hello fellow Nagel followers, glad to be back. I seem to have misplaced my keyboard for quite sometime, but low and behold it was sitting next to the cheap bottle of half empty port (always in front of me), how could I miss it.
These are some crazy times, and we have some important issues to discuss, from the presidential election to the BCS polls to the Chicago Bears defense; they all have serious problems. I know, I know, lies win elections… certain conferences are “better” then others and Chicago land football is all about bruising defensive toughness.
Bull Honky I say (not actually sure what that means). But anyway…
Q: Are people really dumb enough to believe these lies?
A: Abso-freakin-lutely
The main reason all these things exist, is because people are not that smart (I include myself in this statement, as I have fallen for it many times, wait no I haven‘t, but at least I considered it a possibility)… refer to exibit A:
(26 August 2006, Leicester, England) Darren’s death was a mystery. The 33-year-old was found slumped in the hallway of his house, bleeding from stab wounds to his chest. Police initially assumed that an assailant had attacked him, but they could find no supporting evidence. A year later, the inquest revealed why Darren can stake his claim to a place among the winners of the Darwin Award.
Darren had called a friend, but minutes after he hung up, rang back to ask for an ambulance. The front door was ajar, and Darren was found lying near a bloodstained lock-knife he had purchased whilst on holiday in Spain. Forensics investigators saw no indication of a struggle, and the coroner reported that the stab wounds seemed to be self-inflicted. However, Darren had shown no suicidal tendencies.
His wife, who was on holiday at the time of the incident, cleared up the mystery, and revealed why our subject will go down in history as a Darwin Award winner. As she was leaving for the holiday, she remembered Darren wondering whether his new jacket was ’stab-proof’.
That’s right. Darren decided to find out if his jacket could withstand a knife attack. Did he choose to test his jacket while it was draped over the back of a chair? No, our man thought that the best approach would be to wear the garment and stab himself. Sadly, his choice of armor proved less resistant to a sharp blade than he had hoped.
The coroner reached a verdict of accidental death by ‘misadventure’.
See, I told you.
I run across people regularly that still think Obama’s Muslim, the Big 10 sucks, and the Bears Defense is why they win games. Wrong, Wrong, and Wrong.
All political quagmires it seems. One devised to win an election, one devised to get better rankings and one devised to fit tradition. So let’s settle this once and for all. Barrack Obama is a normal American dude, not a terrorist, and he’s a smart guy, and not an anti Semite… The Big 10 is good, even though Michigan stinks and Ohio State loses in big Games, and The Bears have an average defense and a very good offense. Oh, and Colt Brennen is a stooge, just thought I’d throw that in.
Hmmm, I honestly don’t know what to say to republicans except “really?” and “c’mon” in the words of Peter Griffin. I know you’re either poor and religious or rich and greedy, but let’s just put that behind us and make the world better. To you religious freaks, get over it, we all like to be spiritual but keep it to yourself, maybe you guys can come up with a ban on marriage to God while you’re at it, Jesus. And to all you evil rich bastards, seriously, have you ever seen Robin Hood? He’s the good guy, and you’re the bad guys, remember? Share your shit or we will rob from the rich to give to the poor, cause it’s noble. You Bastards. Yet I digress.
Let’s take a look at why people think the Big 12 and the SEC as the holy grail. I mean how else could you explain Alabama and Texas Tech being ahead of Penn State in the BCS poll, when all teams are undefeated… Texas Tech? Really? What a joke. Oh they must have played harder out of conference teams right? Let’s see, Eastern Washington, Nevada, Southern Methodist, and Massachusetts. Ha, did anyone even know these schools had football teams? These guys had one hard game and they won against Texas at home. That’s it. Certainly not reason enough to vault from 7 to 2 in front of Penn State, a team that has also beaten everyone they’ve faced, including Ohio St. on the road. And let’s not forget that Penn State absolutely destroyed the team that handed USC it’s only loss, Oregon St. And then when considering the great Alabama, besides Georgia (a team that was obviously very overrated at the beginning of the season) has only played 2 other teams that are over .500 Mississippi and Kentucky, both mediocre teams at best. So when it really comes down to it, Penn State is just as worthy of the #1 spot as either of these teams, and certainly, you cannot deny Joe Paterno’s undefeated team a shot at the championship.
Moving on. Moving on. Wait, I need to write more about the Bears, but first I need to sleep. Just remember, Kyle Orton is a Stud.
White People are Evil in all “Inspirational” Sports Movies
If you’ve ever seen a sports movie with a preachy message about overcoming adversity, and you are white, then you probably have left the theatre with a twinge of guilt or rage after watching the movie. I know I have, in fact I know racist people who have. Look, I’m not trying to start a race war here, but I am upset with the portrayal of most white characters in sports movie with racial tension as an undertone. What do I mean? Here’s a list:
Posted by Love Without Nagel 
Posted by Love Without Nagel 
Posted by Love Without Nagel 
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