NFL Week 14

“There is nothing wrong with being a hit whore” 

Before we start this week, I would like to point out that the traffic this site has generated lately has made LWN very happy.  Unfortunately, I am quickly becoming a hit whore and must see constant strides each day.  Anything under 700 hits per day is now wholly unacceptable.  SO with that in mind, I must mention what drives site traffic.  Without further ado-  Colt Brennan, Colt Brennan’s girlfriend, Tim Tebow, Tim Tebow crying, Helio Castroneves, Kelis, hair down dos, NFL Playoffs.

Now that I got that out of my system I am prepared to write.  Remember many weeks ago during my review of “Tell Me You Love Me,” I described a hypothetical mid-twenties couples night out on the town with significant others.  Well, LWN got to experience one of those last night.  The good news was that this event was not nearly as excruciating as it could have been.  It included a trip to a Brazilian Steakhouse, and a good old fashioned Indiana strip mall bar. 

For those of you not in the know, a Brazilian Steak house is a dining event.  You sit there and wait for a horde of servers to come by with a variety of meats on skewers.  You decide if you want the particular offering and then eat.  Typically there is chicken, lamb, pork and a variety of beef.  The Indianapolis version of this take on Brazilian cuisine was not nearly as good as Rum Jungle, located in Las Vegas but it also didn’t carry that hefty a price tag. 

It’s always interesting to go out to dinner with your girlfriend’s friends and her man friends.  Each male sits around the table uncomfortably trying to engage in conversation and waiting for the server to bring the next drink.  The females on the other hand laugh and laugh sharing inside jokes with each other for the majority of the evening.  It wasn’t a bad experience, but it wasn’t good either.  It was like eating pizza and watching Major League II.  Nothing to write home about, but not really painful.

It was an interesting dining choice because one person in the dining party has food allergies, another did not eat meat.  Why you would subject someone to foreign cuisine with odd spices when they have food allergies and bring someone there who doesn’t eat meat is beyond me.  It’s not like there were very many vegetable offerings on the menu.

After the meal we ventured to a strip mall bar for drinks where things almost got interesting.  The discussion started with religion, which ended abruptly.  I kept my mouth quiet for the duration of the conversation.  At the end of it though I attempted to stir things up saying, “Well if you don’t want to talk about religion, how about politics.”  This was a lightning rod for discussion, but I once again made sure not to go into it.  I sat back and simply observed while the conversation went nowhere positive.  When Democratic candidates were mentioned, there were many eye rolls.  When religion was mentioned and someone brought up the fact that God may or may not be one of many gods, this killed the argument for one Hoosier.

As the master architect for these discussions, I could not be prouder that I was able to slink back into my chair and watch the discussion fly without me getting arguing anything.  I let the minions do my bidding.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

HEADLINES

1.  Ravens fined.

Baltimore Ravens Bart Scott, Samari Rolle, Chris McCallister and Derrick Mason were all fined for conduct during and after their Monday night game against New England.  Scott was fined $25,000 for taunting officials and throwing a penalty flag.  Rolle, McCallister and Mason were fined for publicly questioning the validity of the officials post game.  Personally, I would rather take the Scott fine.  At least I got my money’s worth in that case.  The other three were fined when they answered questions after the game.  Sure, they went into too much detail which caused the fine but maybe we should fine the sports writers who try to ask controversial questions to get a rise out of players in the losing locker rooms.

Hypothetically speaking, if I gambled on a game and lost I would start throwing out four letter words and insults if one of my roommates asked me about the outcome of the contest.  What the hell do you think people who actually played in the game would do?  Question everything of course. 

*Side Note 1-  Rolle was furious that an official referred to him as “boy.”  Possibly he thought it was due to race?  Oddly enough the official in questions was also black.  He was addressing Rolle in my opinion as ”boy” to show Rolle that the official was in charge, not the player.  When will the NFL stop letting players and coaches berate officials?  In basketball coaches get “T-ed Up,” in baseball coaches and players get ejected with regularity.  In the NHL players go to the penalty box.  IN the NFL it is extremely rare that players and coaches get ejected or have penalties called against them for arguing.  Perhaps this needs to change.

*Side Note 2-  Will the Derrick Mason “I am the NFL” commercial still be aired? 

2.  Brock Berlin Named Starting QB

Former Miami “star” Brock Berlin gets the start for the Rams this weekend against Cincinnati.  Marc Bulger is out with a bruised ego after signing a $65 million contract in the off season.  Gus Frerotte tore the labrum in his throwing arm last weekend.  The Rams added 11 year vet Todd Bouman this week.  Berlin will be number 1, Bouman number two and Frerotte will be the emergency QB.  Scott Linehan downplayed Frerotte’s injury saying, “He [Frerotte] can hand off, but is unable to throw.”  Well, if you are a fantasy football player don’t count on Gus to put up big numbers this week.  Berlin has never attempted an NFL pass, but I am sure he stands behind his skills from his Florida…..wait I mean Miami days.  Oddly enough, I figured Brock Berlin was the name of a character from a John Cena movie.  Take the Bengals at all costs.

3.  Mike Shanahan fined

Shanahan who is no doubt the leader of the orange faced Ompa Loompa’s was fined for saying that he was confident that Travis Henry was innocent of smoking marijuana.  Henry apparently passed a polygraph and hair follicle test administered by the Broncos.  Shanahan then told the media his feelings on the situation and was fined 25k.  Interesting policy from the No Fun League.

4.  Terrance Newman has 15-30K in spare cash available

It would appear that after Detroit beat Dallas LAST YEAR, religious warrior Jon Kitna talked poorly about the Dallas defense specifically calling out their secondary and linebacker Gradi James.  James took issue to the remarks THAT ARE A YEAR OLD.  Newman told a radio show-

“Basically what it boils down to is you’ve got to watch what you say,” Newman said on Sirius NFL Radio. “Your mouth can’t write checks that your (rear) can’t cash. That’s what it comes down to. Everybody’s going to see those quotes.

“He better just hope I don’t blitz off the edge because I’ve got 15, 25, 30 (grand) — however much it would be for a fine. I’ve got that much for one fine. Revenge will be sweet definitely.”

How stupid can you be Terrance?  The NFL issued  a warning to Newman who better be careful this weekend.  For your information, here are the inflammatory remarks Kitna made ALMOST A YEAR AGO.

“There were some times that we were watching on film before we played Dallas that we really felt like No. 56, sometimes I don’t know that he knew where he was at.”

“We definitely felt like Terence Newman was the best corner that they had, so we knew we needed to be careful with him. But even with him, I mean, he’s not Marcus Trufant in my opinion. He doesn’t have that kind of ability. It wasn’t like you were scared to throw at him, I guess.”

Newman’s game play might have to be altered this weekend.  The officials and NFL will be looking at his play closely.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

LET’S REVIEW

A 2-3 week is not good, what’s worse is the Broncos losing to Oakland, and Detroit sucking mightily.  The Chargers are hot in the AFC West.  The Dolphins still have 0 wins.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

PICKS

1.  Cleveland -3.5 @ NYJ

I’ll take the Browns, as long as there are no “judgement calls” that determine the outcome of the game, they should roll the Jets that have no semblance of offense.  Was Thomas Jones really worth it?

Cleveland 24- NYJ 7

2.  New Orleans -3.5 @ Atlanta

Chris Redman versus Drew Brees, come on.  I don’t care if Reggie Bush is injured.  I have a feeling the inconsistent Brees puts up good numbers against the Falcons this weekend.  Just don’t throw toward D’Angleo Hall.

New Orleans 30 – Atlanta 20

3.  AND NOW FOR MY

San Diego +1.5 @ Tennessee

LT LT LT LT LT LT LT LT LT LT LT LT LT LT LT LT is back.

San Diego 35 – Tennessee 21

4.  Miami -7 @ Buffalo

Miami let me down last week, but counting on a 0-11 team is about as stupid as counting on an 0-12 team to come through.  With that in mind, I will take Miami this weekend.  Buffalo is an odd place to play in December.  The wind swirls, Marshawn Lynch is banged up, JP Losman is not Jim Kelly so I am taking the ‘fins again!

Buffalo 17- Miami 14

Imaginary wagers

25 on the fins

100 on SD

50 on Cleveland and NO

Results

Last Week 2-3

Overall 27-22

W/L $$ -250

W/L Overall $$$ +540