LWN Found a New Home

Faithful Readers,

LWN has found a new home for his blog.  We have broken free from the wordpress restrictions and have left the nest.  You can now found LWN and contributors at:

www.armchairculture.com

For The Duke Haters

I don’t hate Duke that much, but they sure are annoying.  This offering is from Jensenreed.com.  It’s funny.  After one of my Duke pals watched this, he wondered out loud, “it’s weird does Duke recruit weird white dudes or do they become weird at Duke?”  You decide.

The Daytona 500 in Pictures

Yes, LWN got a free ticket to the Superbowl of racing.  While any affair is enjoyable if you can walk around drinking, if that is the best thing the sport has to offer, then I still don’t get NASCAR…….or their point system.  Don’t get me wrong it was an enjoyable experience and was fun.  But first some observations:

Week 6….tick tock

Six weeks of being unemployed….HOLLER!  If this keeps up i’ll be living on ramen an kool-aid baby.  I orginally, many moons ago thought this would be a great weekend to go to ESPN the Weekend in Orlando so I could meet man-child Brandon Jacobs.  Alas, I will not be doing this.

I could continue to bitch about being unemployed, but I think you already know my feelings about that.  So….

 

Albert Haynesworth gets a 7-year $100 million deal (41 mil guaranteed).  Huh?  So Dan Snyder is giving a guy who plays mainly on running downs at least 41 mil.  We all know that Haynesworth will get cut before the contract is over, but that much money to someone who doesn’t play every snap and is over 300 pounds and is closing in on the age of 30….that’s insanity.  Perhaps if I majored in face-stomping I too could be well compensated. 

This is rich

Tick….Tock…..Tick…Tock

The unemployment clock now ticks to three weeks.  Here are my stats:

157 jobs applied for with 82 coverletters……

The result…..2 fucking phone calls and a host of spam in my inbox.

Here’s my retort to all the assholes out there that are filling up my inbox with spamy “jobs” that ask me for an investment.  Go fuck yourselves.  You are the lowest of the low.  You should be forced to die a slow and painful death.  You are as bad or worse than the motherfucking assholes out there that create computer viruses. 

Bowl games and unemployment

I haven’t been around much.  It’s probably because I was attempting to save a company that obviously did not want saving.  So in that time I, in essence wasted my hours so that I could hurry up and get unemployed.  I could have been blogging after all.

In the last week and a half, the most productive things I have done are the following……in no particular order.

I beat NES game Shingen the Ruler, conquering Asia once and for all.

Thoughts on the BCS National Championship

First off, I would like to give a big thanks to whatever idiot decided to schedule the BCS Championship on a Thursday.  After about 4 hrs sleep, it was pretty tough to wake up for work today.  Living in Gainesville, I knew the town would be real crazy.  I stayed in and watched the game with a very nervous, Tebow-loving Mrs. THRILLHO.  The game was very intense, and there was little sleep for me afterwards with all the honking horns and fireworks going off outside my window till about 4am.

As for the game….  I’m not quite sure how unbiased fans viewed the game (according to the only column I read today, it was a ‘letdown’), but I thought it was an intense chess match between two great teams and coaches.  The momentum clearly changed all game until the late 4th quarter.  I don’t think anyone will argue that Florida looked better in the first half, they didn’t.  Oklahoma left a lot of points on the field, but you have to give the Gators defense a lot of credit, holding the Sooners to ZERO points in two first and goal situations late in the second half, including a nice patty-cake interception by Wright at the goal line right before halftime.

Percy Harvin looked like a man on a mission.  If that was 85-90%, then I would take that over 100% anyone else on the field.  Around 175 all purpose yards after a serious injury.  That play where the defensive lineman yanked his ankle after the tackle was real dirty though.

Tebow's wet dream

What else can you say about Superman?  The quarterbacks on my favorite teams (mainly the Bills) have squashed my expectations.  When I see a QB throw two early interceptions, I expect it to really get in their head (Trent & JP).  Usually QBs will be more tentative with their passes and risk taking.  Tebow is the opposite, his passes get tighter, he makes more clutch plays, he rockets jump passes into tight coverage for game winning touchdowns.  The guy is unbelievable.  What else can be said?  In very critical 3rd and 10 situations, he will see nobody open and run straight THROUGH 2 linebackers.  Every time he hops up, he waves his arms, and gets the crowd going.  You would expect any other QB to lay there for a minute and be taken out for a couple plays.  He just has a combination that no other college player has.  His drive, leadership, talent, and lack of fear (not to mention his circumcision skills) are what made him the most decorated college player in history (I’m talking about his trophies, not his philipino foreskin collection)…. plus he’s like SOOO dreamy!  Anyways, before I finish my Tebow fluffing, I have to say that the guy deserves all the praise he gets, and more (including this years Heisman).  God bless!!

I have to give Bradford some credit though.  He is unbelievably accurate.  Some of his throws were just unreal.  When he was pressured, things fell apart for him.  The 2 interceptions he threw were truly great defensive plays though, and can’t all be put on him.  Both were pretty much taken away from the receivers.  I think we all saw who the best player in the country was last night, and it wasn’t Sam Bradford (*side note, Bradford looks like a douchebag chipmunk). Chris Brown had a fantastic game as well.  The Gators didn’t look ready for the run game and it opened up in a big way.  I

Dominique Franks - Maybe if his eyes weren't so close together, he could see how good Tim Tebow really is.

liked it when Franks (the guy that called Tebow the 4th best QB in the Big XII) got called out by the announcers after Tebow brought the Gators up 2 scores on a very impressive drive.  They said “that might be the dumbest statement ever made”.  Nothing like getting called out in front of the national stage WHILE getting beat down by the guy you called out.  Nice one Franks….  I believe one would call that “eating your words”…

Anyways, congrats to the Gators, they deserved it.  One point away from running the table.  However I must say that I am glad they lost to Ole Miss.  It sparked more playoff debate, and the more debate we get, the more likely a playoff will happen……. one day…….

Finally, as a University at Buffalo alumn, I can safely name the one thing I am MOST envious about regarding the University of Florida is missing class due to football (and sometimes basketball to a lesser extent) IS acceptable!

edit: the announcers treated this like any other hit, but this got the crowd PUMPED…..

here is the 3rd play from scrimmage……

edit2: someone just called me at work and yelled at me for not answering with “Go Gators”…..

X-mas Gift Guide

LWN recently wrapped up some X-mas shopping this week at Target and found some do’s and don’t for purchase in the toy section for this season’s festivities.  Ho Ho Ho.

Don’t

Don’t buy the Bratz World Twins for your daughter, or sexually confused son unless you hope they start becoming annorexic and showing off their midriff before the age of seven.  Are we really confused why things like this happen in America?

You might as well try to track down a “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset” if you want to go for the gusto.

Alcohol usually makes a great gift……….unless it’s a Mike’s Hard Lemonade Mix pack!  If you buy this and the Bratz World Twins, then you are probably trying to hook up with a seventh grader.  Cold, Hard, Refreshing………MY ASS!

So I was thinking for my American Idol tryout I was going to consider doing something different…..Something sexy and risque, you know to cement my status as a double threat guy.  LWN doesn’t just sing, he also dances…….dirty.  Not only is this video a workout, it also gives important lessons on how to impregnate girls in upstate New York cabins over the summer, and then perform a dance routine in front of a bunch of old geriatrics at the early bird special for some reason.  If you buy this video, you are a loser and should probably get some peanut butter too….you know for the dog.

Leg Magic! for a sexy skirt line!  You should probably buy this product if you don’t feel like going outside for a run every now and again.  Look at the sliding motion, it eliminates all fat in one simple motion!  It’s also portable so you can show off your sexy skirt line on business trips.  Amazing that this is not endorsed by Tony Little.

The NBA 3 in 1 carry sack.

1.  Take gobs of money.

2.  Become an asshole.

3.  Play no defense.

“S’mores…….When you want to tell your daughter I only love you enough to buy you a fake pony.”  Or, “S’mores…….A pony on a redneck budget.”

Walking poles!  Wait for it…..

If your everyday walking poles aren’t good enough, get the ALL-Terrain walking poles.  I mean who doesn’t need these?  And they are about 20 bucks so……..what a bargain right?

Ah, the piece de resistance!  The officially licenced Tony Romo football.  Just remember kids, it plays great in September and October, falls off in November and does not play well at all in December!

DO’s

This is awesome.  You should buy it, I almost did.

The Han Solo Bobblehead!!!!!!!!!  I did buy this for $6.  I’m a dork.

Rockband…..No smarmy slogan needed.

The official Storm Trooper helmet……………because we can dream of incarcerating Princess Leah too!

Yes, that is an official 1987 Super Bowl XXI sweater.

Happy holidays.

Bowl Games Volume 1

Today Bowl Fever SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPS through college football outposts across the nation.  From Annapolis to Colorado Springs, from Tampa to Tucson fans are ready to cheer on their squads in small numbers (most likely).

11:00 AM-  We will start with what looks like the AM snoozefest.  Navy and Wake Forest get together to play in the inaugural Eagle Bank Bowl.  Fans will be treated to Wake’s terrible passing game and Navy’s nearly non-existent passing game.  The over is 44.  The last time these two squads met the score was 24-17 Navy.

This time just take the over (44), as  I have no idea who will win this game.

Team A 28
Team B 21

2:30PM-  Colorado State and Fresno State tangle in the New Mexico Bowl, and for the first time the New Mexico Lobos will not be in attendance.

Fresno State has had a disappointing season by their standards and Colorado State is an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, then deep fried.

I’ll take Fresno State -3.

Fresno 35
CSU 28

4:30 PM-  South Florida meets Memphis in the St. Petersburg Bowl played in the ugliest baseball stadium in America.  Both teams have not had great seasons.  Memphis’ biggest win came against Southern Miss who ended the season 6-6 (an identical record to Memphis).

South Florida on the other hand, went 2-5 in the Big East and did beat Kansas.  They started the season 5-0 then went 2-5 down the stretch to find themselves in this “bowl.”

South Florida is giving 11, but I think they’ll be fine.

USF 30
Memphis 10

8:00 PM-  The thrilling nightcap is a tilt between BYU and Arizona which should provide the best game of the day in the Las Vegas Bowl.

BYU is ranked #16 in the nation and they are getting 3 points?  They were 10-2 and the PAC 10 is not that awesome.  I’ll take the field goal and laugh my way to the bank.

BYU 24
Arizona 14

Bet fiddy across.